Why do we Judge Others

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Welcome to my fourth edition of “The Ways of Life with K”. In this edition, I have written about our nature to judge people around us based on our extensive or limited knowledge.

To understand why we often judge the other person, we need to take a look around ourselves. We will find that we all are being/have always been constantly judged by others – by our government, our society, our relatives, our friends and even strangers. So, when the opportunity comes, we don’t miss even a single chance to be on the other side and judge someone else. Judging the other person gives us a welcome relief from the constant speculation we face in the hands of the society, relatives, and friends. 

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We are very good lawyers for our own mistakes, but very good judges for the mistakes of others.

What do we mean by ‘Being Judgmental’

You are being judgmental when you form opinions about the other person due to your prejudices or reservations against their origin, skin color, culture, traditions, and lifestyle. Usually these opinions are of negative, harsh, and critical undertone. Being judgmental prevents you from looking through other person’s point of view and exploring new possibilities. We as human beings should try not to form opinions about others’ feelings, emotions, and lifestyle. Instead, we should keep an open mind, try to understand their story and respect their life choices.

Being judgmental can harm the environment around us as it brings negativity around. By forming an opinion about other person, you signify that you are superior to them and have power over them to judge them. This goes against the law of nature where all human beings are considered equal. You hurt the other person’s feelings when you judge them based on their religion, family, or culture. In this process, you also support and propagate the social stereotypes and prejudices.

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We don’t need to share the same opinions as others, but we need to be respectful.

When we get judged by the government, we do get offended but then it is not lost on us that the government holds the right to judge the people by the power given by the constitution. The government body does not work on someone’s opinions. Here, the charges are legally scripted, we are formally notified, and the entire process of judgement is methodical and based on facts. Also, we get a chance to defend ourselves and put across our point of view.  

However, when a society, a family member/relative, or an individual pass on their judgement, some things just don’t add up. First, they do not have right to judge and second, their judgement is based solely on their own opinions.

Who are these people in society who Judge?

They are us. All of us. We all judge people around us – consciously or unconsciously. When we meet a person for the first time, based on their origin, skin color, body language, clothes, and mannerisms, we do form an opinion. These opinions are based on our past experiences, fears, prejudices, nature, and above all awareness. However, as we get to know the person better, these opinions may further be reinforced or nullified. It is a normal process of human interaction – having an opinion, judging the other person based on that opinion, and then modifying your opinion once you get to know the person. 

What is not normal is to stick to your opinion and keep judging a person based on that opinion. When your tendency to judge a person supersedes the respect and desire to understand a person, you become a judgmental person.

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Judging a person does not define who they are; it defines who you are.

Here are some common traits of the people who are judgmental:

They are highly rigid to change – These people have strong opinions about various issues and people around them. And, due to their stubborn nature, lack of awareness and experience, or age they are resistant to change. 

They put themselves on high pedestal – These people are highly-learned and well-respected in their social circle. Based on their knowledge and experience, the feeling of superiority starts seeping into their minds. Once these people make an opinion about a subject, it becomes very hard to change their opinion. 

They are habitual nitpickers – Over a period of time, some people develop a habit of always nitpicking on others. They are quick to point out errors in other person’s work or behavior.  

How can we be less judgmental?

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If we had no fault of our own, we should not take so much pleasure in noticing those in others and judging their lives – Shannon L Alder

Read More – Read books by authors from different countries and religions. You will understand different cultures and it will widen your thoughts.

Look into Yourself– Every time you heart is filled with opinion about others, try to focus on thing in your life that need improvement. It will distract you from the negativity and will inspire you to take positive decisions in your life. 

Fill your heart with love – Whenever your heart is filled withopinions about others and their lives, try to bring more understanding and love in its place. 

A Quote to End With…

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“It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. What matters is you can look in the mirror, and love who you see.” ― B. Dave Walters


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