How to Deal with Changes in your Life

Let me say “Welcome Back” to myself. I am writing after a long time. Almost after a gap of seven months. During this time, I went through various emotions and just could not bring myself to write. A big change has happened in my life and it has affected me mentally and physically. The affect is not all negative but in the beginning, it looks like that. Once things settle down, we get to see the clear picture.

When we are going through a big change in your life, knowingly or unknowingly, our body and mind react in strange ways to the new situation. How we react to this change is different for different people based on their mental and physical strength and family and external support. Also, it depends on the extent of the change. Is it a small or a big change, is it concerning our family or our professional life, or is it within us or outside us? But whatever be the extent of change and no matter how prepared are we to deal with it, the initial shock is equal to all. We all get the same jolt – the jolt when someone or something tries to shake us off from our comfort zones.

Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.

What is Change?

Change is life happening to us. It is one of the best ways to confirm that we are living an active life. If we are growing, learning, working, or going through many of the life experiences, then we are experiencing change and we, ourselves are changing along the journey.

When we talk about change, we usually think about life-altering big changes that we have experienced or may have in future. Like, being relocated to some other place, city, or country; having got married; becoming a parent; having lost a dear one; or may have been asked to change our lifestyle due to a medical condition. Going hand in hand with these big changes, are the small changes that we encounter every day and these small changes affect us as much as any big event.

Change is never easy. We fight to hold on and we fight to let go.

You are most comfortable in your bed with a book or your phone. You get your first shock in the morning, when the alarm bell goes off. Your body and mind take time to adjust to the change. When you go out, you change from your comfy clothes to the formal ones, you travel in a particular number bus on a particular route, and you work with a certain set of people. But sometimes, you may not find your comfy clothes, you may have to take a different bus and a different route and you may see yourself working with different sets of people. You come back home and you find your kids with new project work, spouse leaving on an official trip and it dawns on you that you will have to change your planned sets of activities.

We all go through these small and big changes and it becomes our daily fight to conquer these challenges and return back to our comfort zone.

Is Change Good or Bad?

Change is neither good or bad. It simply is. – Don Draper

Some changes in your life are definitive. They change the course of your life and give you a new direction. But, most of the life changes have relative impact. The same change condition could be good news to one and bad news for the other person. For example, moving from a city life to the country side could be a good change for one person but may not be a good change for another. Whether a change is good or bad for you, depends on your current life style, expectation, and aspirations.

Why is Change Uncomfortable

So, why do we feel discomfort in any changed situation. Some of the most obvious reasons are given here:

The unknown always scares You: No matter how much information we have about the changed situation, there is always the anxiety about unknown. We may have known about a certain place or person for long, but to actually live in that place or work with that person is a totally different thing.The change takes you to the unknown territory and expects you to make additional efforts to integrate with the new environment.

When we do not know what lies ahead, we are filled with uncertainty and anxiety.

It’s a human nature to remain settled: We as humans are prone to the desire of settling down. Barring a few exceptions where a certain breed of human race could be nomadic in nature. We humans can function with our full capabilities only when the life around us is settled. As soon as we enter any new place or a situation, our first reaction is to make ourselves comfortable and settled. So, it becomes extremely discomforting when we are asked to leave our settled space and move.

Change is hard because people overestimate the value of what they have and underestimate the value of what they may gain by giving that up

It Pulls you out of our Comfort Zone: A change in your life compels you to come out of the known and move towards the unknown. And maneuvering through this transition requires you to be flexible and keep your emotions in check. The toughest thing about coming out of your comfort zone is to let go of your acquaintances and your old habitat and it requires you to be emotionally strong.

Life belongs to the living, and he who lives must be prepared for change – Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

How to Deal with Change Positively

We just read how change is integrated in our lives. It is symbolism of life moving ahead. However, since it is inevitable, we need to embrace it and learn to move ahead along with it.

I have accepted fear as part of life – specifically the fear of change. I have gone ahead despite the pounding in the heart that says: Turn Back – Erica Jong
  1. Take change as a way of life – You will be more accepting of the change when you will accept change as a part of your life and growth.
  2. Take change as an opportunity – Change in your life can bring new opportunities for you. You will get a chance to meet new people, live/work in a new environment.
  3. Be emotionally Strong – When you are emotionally strong, you will be better equipped to deal with the life changes.
  4. Be aware of the surroundings – When you will have the information about the happenings around you, you will be more confident about wading through changes.
  5. Have trust in the process – Many things happen in life as a part of the bigger process. We need to let the things happen as a course of life and go along with it.

A Quote to End With…

To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often.” – Winston Churchill

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